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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in revolution through evolution's LiveJournal:

Sunday, June 29th, 2008
1:41 am
A Calling I Ache to Answer
Many times have I come to Livejournal and posted entries pointing to some spiritual truth I felt I had discovered. My journal, if you choose to read early, and even recent entries, is also littered with a great number of maladies. I feel at this stage that I cannot apologize for those things in earnest, because I'm no longer entirely sure of the person who wrote them. But I digress. There have been many times where it's seemed as if I were on the verge of something greater than the mundane existence I felt encompassed by. And I won't go so far as to say that it was never a true experience or that I was not sincere regarding how deeply I felt these experiences.

Perhaps it is not the richness of these experiences that I really feel I should call into question. Perhaps it was the manner in which I have always tried to accept what I considered to be higher truths. I have always, often without knowing, attempted to conceal or bury my confusion and insecurities, while wrapping myself in a blanket of new ideas to ponder and to adopt. But I could never fully embrace a new way of life because I have always been petrified to abandon an old way of life, no matter how useless and uninspiring it may seem to me. To discard the only life I ever known has always seemed petrifying. Would it cost me my identity? Who would I be if not the person I've always identified as, who people recognize me as? The question I now seem to be pondering is: How much longer can I allow these fears to prevent me from doing what I must?

Until just a few days ago, I was in a malaise, the likes of which I have never encountered in myself. Surely i have seen others in a state far more severe than my own, but what alarmed me was how out of character it was for me; and, moreover, how out of character the last few years have been for me. Such was the price for ignoring the ineffectiveness of how I have lived, concealing it with a thin layer of superficial change while convincing myself that I was evolving. None of this is judgment or personal condemnation. It is merely an observation that I am forced to make. If anything I am thoroughly grateful to be aware of all of this now.

With that said, I must confess what life means to me right now. I have said to many people in the last few days that now I feel living is pretty much the only goal I need to fully commit to. And what's more, there are a myriad of ways to do it! I need only choose. But choose I must! And where will that lead me? How much longer can I subscribe to a lifestyle which I find to be corrosive to the soul? The way I figure, I can maintain with a smile on my face for as long as it takes me to find my alternative. I am committed to doing just that. For in the past my attempts at changing my life were not sincere. What I wanted was a shortcut, a means to better thrive in my ego-driven existence. What I now see is ego does not sustain me. Success no longer means worldly gain to me. Worldly gain can be enjoyable as an extension of a Self. Self may view material success as entertaining at best, even comfortable, but never essential to making one complete. Cleverness may feed the mind copiously, but a soul would starve were cleverness all it were fed. For the first time in what seems like ages, I truly Love myself. And in turn, I am falling madly in Love with life again.

I'm typing this because I feel like an idea such as this deserves a formal declaration. I WILL choose Love from now on. I will allow it to guide me and teach me. If I feel without it, I will wait for it to return. I will be its worthy disciple, as Love is the only worthy master. If I fall short of this, I will immediately return to it. I will go wherever it takes me and do what it inspires me to do. I will post this declaration so others may read it and so those who Love me will remind me of this vow, whenever they see me striving for anything less. It means more to me now than it's ever meant. It's not urgency which has driven me to this point... just a feeling that it's time. I don't know how all this will unfold in the days, weeks, months or years to come. I don't really care. Nor do I care so much about the past and how things have always panned out before. The past is dead and the future is only theoretical. The only time I'm guaranteed is now. And right now I Love you. All of you!

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
1:31 pm
To be devoted to evolution, you must be willing to be selected against.
Saturday, May 31st, 2008
1:40 am
Hey guys,

I'm doing a creative project and I hope you can help me out... answer these two questions for me....

What pisses you off about the world we live in today?


What are you going to do about it?

I want to get as many people as I can to answer these questions as honestly as possible... Its totally okay if your answer to the second question is "nothing". I just want to spark some thoughts inside your head.

Feel free to answer any way you like, ask anyone you would like and, post anywhere you would like... the more people the better.

Gandhi said we must be the change we want to see in the world... so where can we start?

Thanks and love
Friday, May 30th, 2008
5:16 pm
i was listening to oprah in the distance (my mom was watching it) and i heard the name, Eckardt Tolle. so immediately i was tempted to go on youtube and see if he had any videos...

this is the first video i was drawn to, and with apt reason. the feeling of constant searching for inner peace has been weighing heavily on my my mind as of late. really what i needed to hear was "stop searching and be"... *sigh*

i opted to post a link as opposed to posting the actual video here, as i've noticed that it tends to load slower when i do it that way.

Eckardt Tolle, if you don't know, is the author of a very thought-provoking book, one of my favorites, The Power of Now. he also wrote another book, fairly recently, which is called A New Earth. i have not had the chance to read that one yet, but i probably will eventually. anyway, i felt like posting the link to Tolle's thoughts on enlightenment to see if anyone else would be able to get anything good out of it. essentially he's only reiterating many points which i think we have all considered. perhaps it might do some of us well to remember some of these points (i certainly could stand to do so!) if anyone has thoughts, please share!


Current Mood: calm
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
11:12 pm
so everything is not completely set up as i would like it... i'm not particularly handy with html... but i am hopeful that there will be some exciting and insightful dialog happening here.

so allow me to break the ice!

like so many i have come to know in recent years, the thought has occurred to me that not many people are happy with the state of our world. whether it be on a large scale or a small scale, we are all observing something which simply is no longer working, if, in fact, it ever did. i have my own thoughts about what i'd like see change, but often they take too personal a stance to really benefit others when it comes to arriving at a means to bring about even a slight change, however immediate.

in many ways i feel absolutely helpless to make the necessary personal changes that are required before trying to tackle something outside of myself. after all, it seems ghandi was correct in observing that we must be the change we wish to see in the world. i feel many of us find ourselves rather unsuccessful in that goal.

why is that?

what causes us to be ready to change the world, but never ourselves? one factor may be that some of us think we are separate from the rest of the world and so thinking globally has us looking at something outside of ourselves. and perhaps that is safer, because as much as we say we don't want the apocalypse to come, global destruction doesn't feel nearly as real to us as the turmoil brewing inside of us. what we would be wise, perhaps, to observe is that maybe the two are the same, and our own anxieties and fears are the only things we really need to overcome.

it's all energy, right? and it's all made from the same stuff of the universe. we are all a piece of time, a piece of space, a piece of matter. your finger is an individual point that you may focus on, but it is still part of the whole that is your body. such is each person's relationship to the world and the universe. looking at it from that standpoint, is it so strange to imagine that your life does impact everyone else's, even if you are not aware of it?

that's by no means a new thought, but it bears repeating, at least for me, as i feel like i comprehend it a little more each time i'm allowed to think about it. many of us do not, on a regular basis, see our relationship with all of life in this way. we see ourselves and everything else, as if they were two different dimensions of space. we cannot bring ourselves to claim our own bit of chaos, instead feeling more protected in larger groups, pointing our fingers at the rest of the world. this is not wrong and it is not my place to judge, for i am equally guilty of this. it simply behooves us to see our personal suffering as kin to global suffering. i am certain that one did not cause the other... it's the "collective/individual" suffering of man. it is separation.

as you can see, i'm all over the place, and i fear the point gets lost sometimes. these are the thoughts that are on my mind at all times. i wish to share them with others so i may get it straight in my own head and heart. i invite anyone to contribute to this sporadically-woven tapestry of borrowed cosmology... let us together weave something of greater strength and value.


Current Mood: hopeful
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